disadvantages of being a second wife in polygamy

The second wife will have all of these extra people in her life that she never bargained for and it can be a lonely or isolating feeling. It stayed almost one year that we hide our relation to his first his wife, because he told me, that he want to inform his wife, when he will be in front of her, since that she was in her home country and it . Should second wives post billboards proclaiming that we are not necessarily women who flounce through life wearing ankle bracelets, feather boas, and alligator shoes? Mrs. Kamal reported "in the beginning when I thought about the second wife, I engaged myself in different activities because it always hurt me." As some statistics have it, we are one in every four married women you will meet. The outcomes of polygamous marriages have also been seen. 2006; 35(1), 46-61. I'm seven months pregnant. Dealing with your partner's baggage. Sharing household chores: Mrs. Tanveer with time accepted her co-wife and living in the same home. Data was collected from 11 polygamous women who consented to an in-depth interview. If he does so, either in public or secret, she has the right to divorce him. "If you are the second or third or fourth wife, that marital relationship is not going to be recognized for immigration purposes. Saravanan S. Female infanticide in India: A review of the literature. In another study man's wife having been diagnosed with a mental health problem, infertility, a man has only daughters or having children mentally and physically sick or man's wife older than he is, and exchange marriage are common reasons were discussed in a previous study. The policymakers and law enforcement agencies should pass laws for the welfare of polygamous women. To evaluate the outcomes of the relationship between co-wives. One wife raises her fertility in response to an increase by the other wife because to them children are the best claim to resources controlled by the husband [22,23]. READ MORE:Customary law know your rights. Mrs. Kamal was also a childless first wife from the past 6-8 years and she accepted a co-wife rather than divorce. 17-Dec-2021, DOI: 10.54615/2231-7805.47221. 2006; 52(1): 5-17. The supervisor of the study verified the emerging themes and contents. But Im his last.. Its a hard stigma to run away from and can lead to many second marriage challenges. Theyre all equal and these two women are their mothers equally. Being a second wife and a stepmother is rather like learning to perfect a set of aerial maneuvers. All the above shows that there is really no marriage between the both parties. Six were first (senior) wives, four were second wives, and one was the 3rd wife in status. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. In Pakistan polygamous women also facing many psycho social problems because our society is far away from the original teachings of Islam about polygamy. Prevalence of mental health problems in women in polygamous versus monogamous marriages: A systematic review and meta-analysis. The study investigated the causes of polygamy, outcomes, and women's coping strategies to deal with co-wives relationships. Polyandry is a specific term used to describe marriages between one wife and at least two husbands. She said, "I used to take care of my child and co-wife's as well". Though plural marriage is banned in developed courtiers, it is surprisingly common, and popular, that 55% of the women share their husbands in developed countries while an average of 16% of women in less developed nations. Ethnographic accounts of 69 polygynous systems and reported evidence that the majority of co-wives in a polygynous family prefer pragmatic co-operation with one another while maintaining a respectful distance however having a deep-seated feeling of angst that arises over competing for access to their mutual husband [21]. Minor clashes are part of life to her. When she asked her husband, he refused to accept it. Opponents of decriminalization say the current law should not be changed because polygamy is inherently dangerous and harmful to women and children, particularly young girls, some of whom have. Christianity condemns polygamy as an offence against the dignity of marriage, insisting that conjugal love between a man and wife must be mutual and unreserved, undivided and exclusive. The two new wives bullied my mother and called her names. Second marriages are like that. Al-Krenawi A, Graham JR. A Comparison of family functioning, life, and marital satisfaction, and mental health of women in polygamous and monogamous marriages. Evelyn*, 32, tells DRUM her mother's experience was awful. But by then, no one can picture you without that first friend. She was living with her husband first 10 years of her marriage. He proposed for marriage to me as a second wife. Judge Nenney says every week she hears cases where a couple is charged for having sex outside marriage. Gina Barreca, Ph.D., a board of trustees distinguished professor at UConn, is the author of 10 books, including the bestselling They Used to Call Me Snow White, But I Drifted. Love marriage: Love marriage is a very common reason for co-wives [13]. The Quranic prescription for polygamy suggests that men can marry two, three or four wives (but not the other way round, naturally). Mrs. Kamal also has a good relationship with her co-wife. She said "first wife of my husband always get more privilege than me." An interview guide was prepared before conducting interviews which were consisted of the following research questions based on literature. 2014. But few years passed her husband was involved with another lady and married after few years. However, on appeal the. Polygamy.com. Polygamy has become common practice in many communities including Pakistan. She was married to Mr. Imam due to family pressure when he had already a wife with 2 children. Second theme: outcomes of polygamy as jealousy, unhappiness, and loneliness due to injustice, by the spouse were explored as potential pitfalls of polygamy. 2006;52(1); 5-17. Barber N. Explaining cross-national differences in polygyny intensity: Resource-defense, sex ratio, and infectious diseases. Many first marriages start with two young, giddy people, unfettered by the realities of life. It doesnt mean that it cant be wonderful. The sensitivity and the comfort level of discussing polygyny may have affected the sample size. All interviews were audio-taped, transcribed verbatim, and were then analyzed by interpretive phenomenological analysis. Yet we make as felicitous a stepfamily as you are likely to find. Wed both been married before, but does that really matter? The psychological health of women is essential to raising a sound, healthy family and should receive high priority, particularly in developing countries where resources are limited. 70% of those second marriages end in divorce. Community awareness of the effects of polygamy on women through media campaigns is a beginning step. Second marriages are like the mature version of you getting married again. A typical statistic out there now says that 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce, and. He says he isnt much of a speaker. 4. Love and (Polygamous) Marriage? A lady was working in front of her husbands' clinic and usually visited the clinic. A new law that went into effect in Kenya this week makes it legal for a man to marry as many women as he wants. Female infanticide and killing women for giving birth to a baby girl a case study of Pakistan inproceedings of socioint14-international conference on social sciences and humanities. Method: Exploratory qualitative method was used. Treating me with the resentment of a union official watching a house being constructed with non-union labor, my erstwhile friend watched me build up and remodel my life. 2020; 39(2): 750-760. She said, in the beginning, I was not happy but with time and being realistic I have admitted and have divided the household chores. To sum up: I am married to a man I love and am lucky. A man and his second wife in Pakistan tell of their daily fear of being killed by assassins at the behest of their families. The first author analyzed the transcripts line by line, which was read repeatedly and thematically analyzed for their contents. She stated, "'in my religion, co-wives expect to get along. They were much younger than my mother, just eight years older than me. In many typical cultures like India, China, and Pakistan infanticide is a very common practice despite an illegal and social evil [5-7]. The main strength of this study is that it provides preliminary data on women in polygamous marriages and the foundation for further research. 2015; 12(3): 267-289. Her husband got married to Miss Sobia who was the 2nd wife and it was again a love marriage. Divorce can be an expensive proposition. How Psychologically Conditioned Rats Are Defusing Landmines, The Innate Intelligence Observed in the Dying Process. Why is it higher the second time around? I knew my family wouldnt approve of our marriage, but I was weak. 11 in-depth interviews were conducted with the help of the above-given interview guide with an age range of 18-50 years of polygamous women after obtaining initial data. In times of uncertainty you need journalism you can trust. His family says it was unaware of any "second. Exploring the mediation effects of anger rumination and willingness to forgive on the association between self-compassion and romantic jealousy. Mrs. Abdullah also had a love marriage. As she stated, "out of sight, saying of mind.". One of the disadvantages of being a second wife is that for some reason, 2. I was so sad and heartbroken to the point of not speaking to him for three days! After calming down Lillian communicated her feelings and concerns to Thamsanqa, and he explained his point of view. Then there is the hardship of making a living by yourself as a single person. 2010;57(1): 121-127. Evelyn*, 32, tells DRUM her mothers experience was awful. She almost lost her life I couldnt bear the thought of losing her. He kisses the back of Lillians hand as he talks. Mrs. Tanveer was though accepted her husband's second wife but she told, when my husband got married to the second wife this sharing was indeed hurting for me. Mrs. Imam was 58 years old working lady living with her 2 children and a relationship with her co-wife. 2007; 21(1), 108-127. Instituting change for women in a male-dominated society is a daunting task; however, it is essential. So infertility and no male child is the main factor to permit polygamy by the wives [8]. For Lillian Makhubalo* it was like a blow to the heart. Somehow, you probably have always pictured someone who has never been married. You feel stuck and feel as if you do not belong where you are. Mrs. Gulzar was another first/senior wife having three daughters. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. 1. Co-wife conflict and co-operation. Limited-Time Deal on Marriage Course. Tabi MM, Doster C, Cheney T. A qualitative study of women in polygynous marriages. 6. She said, "We both share the housework and I always take care of her children". Eva wasnt happy, but her husband went ahead and traditionally married the two women without her consent. The average duration of polygamy was about 11 years so most of the co-wives had been accepted co-wives and engaged themselves in several activities and got comfort considering it fate role, religious permission, and compromise for the sake of their children's future rather than divorce. 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